Romans 1:20 NIV
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Friday was my day. The one day a week I was responsible for posting on this blog. I let the world step in and stop me from doing it anymore. Let me explain. I used to get really excited about writing blogs, thinking that my students would go on the blog every Friday and read what God had put on my heart and maybe, just maybe, even get something useful out of it. On Wednesday nights I would ask the students if anyone read the blog this week. Dead silence and blank stares would follow my question. It was kind of discouraging. I allowed that discouragement coupled with laziness to say to myself it's not worth it.
Over the past several months I have been doing some self evaluation of my life and ministry. I turned 40 last week and instead of going through a typical mid-life crisis, I have decided to reinvent myself. When I was writing the blog I would spend time on Friday mornings with the radio off in the car and I would drive to work in complete silence waiting for God to put something on my heart to talk about. When I would get to work, I would pull out my Bible and read. I used this blog as a journal for reading God's word and then reflecting on what I read. When I stopped I realized that Fridays had become more about me than God. I found myself thinking about the weekend and what I was going to do. The radio doesn't get turned down and the Bible doesn't get read. Now I can look back and realize that the blog was never about the students, it was about keeping me accountable for being in God's word. Don't get me wrong I would love for everyone to read and get something out of this, but if they don't, then that's OK. I'm writing for God, not me.
I recently went on vacation with my family to Myrtle Beach and every morning I would walk down to the beach and spend time just looking out over the ocean and thanking God for who he is and what he has given me. I would say good morning to my brother as I walked past the sand dunes where some of his ashes were spread and then I would just stare at the ocean. I would stand in awe of its beauty and power as the waves would crash on shore. Then it dawned on me that I am just like the sand that I was standing on, just a tiny piece of God's creation.
While at the beach I decided to go to the bookstore and find a book to read. I came across a book by Francis Chan called "Crazy Love". I started reading the back cover and it said exactly what I needed to hear. That even though I felt like a tiny part of his creation God's love for me was greater than anything imaginable. Needless to say I bought the book and started reading it. Chapter one was entitled "Stop Praying" wait, what? That doesn't sound like something a pastor would say. He talks about taking time to stop talking at God and step back and just take in his creation and realize how big his love is for you. We can't understand how to love until we grasp the meaning of his love. I recommend this book to everyone and I challenge anyone who is reading this to take some time this weekend to stop and just take it all in. Go somewhere secluded and take in God's creation and wait for him to talk to you.
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